SHIT IT’S AN EWOK SITH GET IN THE SPEEDER.
UGH, THIS BLOKE. We try not to talk about him.
I mean, he felt he had to go all goth and ragey and embrace the Dark Side (TOTALLY FOR ATTENTION) and poses on top of all the Stormtroopers he killed for pictures and posts them all on his social media pages.
WICKET can do that. (you know, Geoff’s cub with no sense of self-preservation who has to be freed from a trap every few days). And he doesn’t need a bloody double-ended lightsaber. What’s wrong with a bolo and spear?
Not to mention you know he’s not even eating what he’s killed. (lightsabering chars the meat in a really weird way, horrible aftertaste of ozone). Wasteful much?
Also, he feels he’s too good to write home and update his mother on his latest exploits. And hasn’t sent a solstice card in years.
I now have to look up my Sith Ewoks Kick Ankle illustration. I still have the t-shirt, one of a kind.